Bring on the rain.

As the new year approaches, I have been looking back on the past year in hopes of pinpointing the exact point where it all changed. Where I stopped trusting, where I stopped being a daughter, a sister, a friend. I haven't been the best version of me this year. Looking back on this year, I've made some irrational decisions. I haven't been a good friend, a good Christian, a good sister, a good daughter, or a good student. I've wanted to change, but I just finally started to step up and do it.

The past few weeks have brought me more trials than I could've imagined in a lifetime, and the past few weeks I've executed them perfectly. I couldn't be prouder of the girl I've seen this month. So here's to 2009. I'm not making resolutions, I just want to be the best I can be. 

My man Jack Johnson is yet again, leaving me dumbfounded by his peaceful words. Listening to his song Hope, this line hit me hard, "You don't always have to hold your head higher than your heart."

Everyone always tries to paint a perfect picture and mask their pain. STOP! If you're having a bad day, cry. If you're having a bad day, talk to someone. If someone asks how you are, tell them you're HORRIBLE. Don't hide from your real emotions.

And if someone's having a bad day, whether they say it or you can just tell, be there for them. Don't ask what you can do for them, but think of something you know they'll enjoy or something that will really help them, and JUST DO IT!

Firsts

There is a first for everything.

A first kiss, a first love, a first date, your first time. A first break up, your first car, your first weekend home alone. Your first day of school, first day of marriage---what I'm trying to say is there is a first for it all.

I'm not exactly sure where I've going with all this.

Just that it gets easier with time. Your first time is not supposed to be simple. It's not supposed to be fearless, and it's not always supposed to be fun. But it's supposed to be educational. You're supposed to learn with each step you take. 

This probably makes no sense to anyone. But it makes sense to me, and that's all that matters.

Christmas.

I've decided to start blogging. I don't mind who reads this, and I'm sure it won't be of much excitement to others. It's just my inner thoughts. 

I can't believe how blessed I've been by God lately. I've been going through some hard times, but overcome them with help from an amazing set of friends and family. I couldn't be happier with the person I've become recently and can't wait to watch myself grow into an even better person.

I know we all get caught up at Christmas time and forget the true meaning, but I'm really pleased to be remembering it, and I hope you all do too. I know it's quite cliche, but don't get wrapped up in the presents (oh, so punny!) and remember that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, who died for each and every one of  us.